He was standing there when I entered. Tall with slightly tousled auburn hair that made him look like the bad boy I knew he must have been when he was just a little boy.
There was a palpable buzz around him as the women networkers in the room flocked to his side. Yes I had heard of him and his firm and his seductive attraction borne from the whisper of possible introductions and connections that could be offered up from his deep and rich database of clients and contacts.
Our eyes locked from across the room and i was lost in a wash of emotions that caused me to breathe erratically and to wonder if perhaps he was having similar feelings. Did he see me as a potential source of contacts too? Was he imagining what we could do together or was this all one sided?
He slipped away and slowly made his way across the room. All eyes followed him but he seemed unaware of anyone but me. I started to shake, my body anticipating the second when his hand would grasp mine. I could hardly breathe.
It seemed like forever but then he was by my side. His smile was playful, his eyes warm and I felt myself losing control. So this is how it starts I said to myself. This is dangerous but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I was under his networking spell.
His voice was deep and warm. What’s your name? Sandy, I replied. No, he said, it’s Sandra, don’t ever use that silly nickname again.
Oh my, my inner feminist was squirming. He took me aback by being so damned adamant about my name but somehow that felt just right. Let’s face it, everything felt just right.
He wasted no time and right then told me about his philosophy of networking. I knew that the rules sure seemed one sided. But I was under his spell and my mind was screaming yes.
I felt that I could get him to change, to be more giving and reciprocal. He couldn’t really only want things to go his way could he. Didn’t he know that it was always better when both people were engaged in the giving.
But I didn’t want to mess it up before we had an opportunity to start our relationship. I’d give it a try. There was glory being associated with him and his firm and that was enough to get me to say yes.
So I guess what has happened to me now shouldn’t come as any sort of surprise. I mean I asked for it didn’t I. I opened my database and made the introductions he desired and not wanting to disappoint I continued to do so. It started to hurt but he told me it was part of the netwoking game played by the big boys and I allowed myself to feel false hope that I would be the entrepreneur to change things up.
I started to feel uncomfortable when we spoke on the phone or met in person but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I was under his spell and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. I had to keep giving.
To be continued. Maybe:)